Showing posts with label Dating Tactics for men. Show all posts

Monday, October 22, 2007

How to create sexual tension with any woman

How to Create (or Kill) Sexual Tension

One thing that is critical for developing attraction with a woman that will lead to your eventual seduction success is learning how to build and nurture the sexual tension between you.

One thing that is critical for developing attraction with a woman that will lead to your eventual seduction success is learning how to build and nurture the sexual tension between you.

Remember that when you first begin to interact with a woman, unless she already has a strong initial attraction for you - sometimes known as "chemistry", you are in a neutral zone with her. This is a place where she has yet to make up her mind as to whether you are interesting to her or not.

Now, you can choose to sift through dozens and dozens of women looking for the few that you have that instant "chemistry" with, but I find it much more practical to stimulate the woman's attraction so that she has that chemistry right away, and then I can choose whether or not to act on my own attraction. It's like getting a pre-approved loan and knowing you COULD go out and buy that new Porsche, but it's YOUR choice.

This, guys, is what seduction is all about. Having your own choice as to whether a woman interests YOU or not, not the other way around.

Back to the Neutral Zone (and I'm not talking about that Star Trek term, either...)

In order to get that tension going - a necessary tension - you need to zap her out of her neutral funk and get her into feeling EXCITEMENT. There are many ways to do this:

1. Teasing - You find little areas of insecurity, and you play with them a little. This isn't to belittle her or make her feel bad about herself, but to demonstrate your own confidence and security by showing that you're aware of your own dominance as a man, and that you do not fear her. Teasing also lowers her guard a little so that you can reach that "real" part of her personality that she is cloaking with defensive behavior. (Sometimes called "tease to please")

2. Humor - Humor takes the edge off your teasing (sometimes called cocky/funny). Women are dying to laugh. There are so many guys out there that have ZERO humor to them. They take everything too seriously, including women, which - honestly - creeps them out. Compare: A man with humor enjoys life, is relaxed enough to find the fun in everything, and shows that he has a sense of inner calm. A man without humor is not relaxed, takes things way too seriously, and tends to smother and convey insecurity with his intense behavior.

3. Contradiction - An independent, secure guy can express his own opinion (and he MUST). You should make it a point to contradict her opinion from time to time to demonstrate that you do not need her approval. He doesn't do it to prove her wrong, but to state his own belief in clear terms. And this includes calling her on her bratty behavior, as well as taking control when the situation demands it. This may be the toughest behavior for most "nice guys" to adopt. And it will also sound radically contrary to what you've been brought up to believe by the media and your mom.

4. Detachment - Again, an independent, secure man does not NEED a woman (or other people, for that matter) for his approval. He can stand alone and separate of her opinion, and it doesn't ruffle his feathers if she doesn't like something he did or said. This means the ability to walk away, turn away, and otherwise disengage from a woman so that she understands he is not there to kiss her ass. Another way to show this is to allow for long pauses between contacts with a woman. Don't email her right back. Don't call her right back. A few days could easily pass for a guy who is overwhelmed with women, so why shouldn't it be that way for you right now? Give her a chance to miss you. (Instead of wondering why you're so desperate that you leave five messages every day.)

These are just some of the ways you can heighten the level of sexual tension between you and a woman.

Now, there are some guys out there that are afraid of raising this tension. I suspect this is partly because this kind of tension feels uncomfortable to them. It can often border on making her angry which is something that most guys are afraid to do. After all, you want her to LIKE you, right? How will making her potentially DISlike you help?

Well, it's really about a push-pull effect. The idea is to induce a gentle tug-of-war with her that will get things started. When she thinks you're going to pull, you give her slack, which throws her off balance. And that's when you pull her back in. It's just like fishing: Give her a little "line," and see if she bites. When she does, you pull in a little. (Too much too quick and you yank the hook right back out.) Then you give her a little slack so she thinks she's free, and the hook digs in a little more. Then you give it a little tug to pull her back in.

Push-pull. Reel her in, let her go.

The tension you are elevating has only one kind of outlet - sexual attraction. Sometimes it will even start out as anger and then morph into passion and lust. (Remember the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy.)

You're better off with a woman that is pissed at you than one that has no feelings for you. Your knee-jerk reaction to her anger is to smooth out the problem, afraid that you've somehow lost her. When you don't NEED, you can't LOSE.

Again, passion very often starts out with a woman APPEARING to hate the man at first.

(Review how this happens in the first Indiana Jones movie, as well as the movie "The Breakfast Club," and especially the police station scene in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." Yes, they are movies, but they accurately depict how this phenomenon works. And if you'll watch it closely, it may seem counter to what you might think, but at a gut level - it MAKES SENSE and feels right. This sort of thing happens all the time.)

Don't be afraid of that tension, guys. Feed off it and escalate it. This will make the difference between the guy that walks away with the sweet taste of woman on his lips... or the bland and disappointing taste of her "friendship."

Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as "Secrets of the Alpha Male", "Approach Women - NOW!", "Alpha Immersion" and "Alpha Man Communication & Persuasion".

Never over use compliment with beautiful women, make them earn it.

Far, Far and Away

There is a point in this silly Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman romance movie. You just have to watch carefully.

I got a membership to that DVD rental service where you get your selections mailed to you, and I've been watching a lot of movies, catching up on the classics. A lot of guy movies, like "The Dirty Dozen", "Where Eagles Dare", "The Majestic Seven", and others.

I happened to put down "Far and Away" as a title, and it came up recently. Now, a lot of you are going to chuckle at that. A silly Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman romance.

But, you know, it was actually pretty watchable.

Not incredibly deep as far as a story goes, but it was nice to watch. Well-produced. And there was something I noticed about it that you ought to look at. Tom Cruise makes both the "chump" error and the "champ" corrections in the course of the movie.

Let's review them:

At first, Tom tells Nicole when she asks him if she's beautiful that "he's never seen anything like her", she basically says, "Good" and turns away from him. You can see the look in his eyes as he's saying to himself, "What the hell happened? I told her she was beautiful, and she rolled over and went to sleep. Isn't that what she wanted?"

Classic mistake when dealing with beautiful women. Never compliment their beauty before you've got them hooked. It has ZERO affect.

Later, Tom is getting some booty attention from the women at the place where he fights, and from the whores that live in his boarding house. Nicole gets bratty and jealous, acting as if she's pissed at him, but really she's just wishing she could act on her attraction. This establishes Tom as desirable by other women, jacking up her attraction even further.

Later on, Tom gets in an argument with Nicole and he throws her in a tub full of water, putting her in her place. You can see the meek manner in which she realizes how she was acting like a bitch.

She's the classical bratty beautiful woman, and Tom learns how to dominate her in the right way. All through the movie, in fact, she behaves in the classic mode of the spoiled beautiful woman who has had every man just fall at her feet.

Note how turned on she becomes when Tom fights - and especially when he fights for her.

Check this movie out sometime as part of your homework. You'll find a bunch of classical behavior patterns in here to learn from.

Is it wrong to date multiple beautiful women?

Double Standard

They are saying that it's ok that a woman sees more than a single guy. But when a guy dates more than a single woman he's bad boy. Double standards or what!?

I was sent an "article" (I use quotes because the value of this information is in doubt) about men who "step out" on their women.

Step out. You gotta love these old terms that journalists keep using because they evoke emotional pictures in your mind.

The woman's question to this - (COUGH) - "advisor" was "I don't know why, but I keep attracting jerks."

Now this advisor is a "VP of Romance" (Yeah, right) of a very popular online dating site. (And since we all know that men don't know anything about "romance," this advisor is a woman.)

She proceeds to describe bad boys and why women are attracted to them, because they are "philanderers and con artists."

Wow, strong words.

Well, I cover this in my e-books, along with the breakdown of the "bad boy" and how you can use the good parts of his personality. Her use of the term "con artist" is out of bitterness. Some "bad boys" are just plain criminals that women fall for because they lack the self-esteem to hold to a higher standard. Bad Boys are not necessarily those penitentiary romances, folks.

Bad boys are men that have the right combination of qualities to make them interesting to women, but some character flaws that make them unsuitable for a long-term commitment. These guys are like ecstasy for women primarily because there are so many guys that BORE the hell out of them.

Bad boys attract women because they have all the right confidence traits that women genuinely desire. The downside is that many of these bad boys are genuinely assholes.

I believe that most guys out there are good at heart. We want a good woman that won't nag or control us (and they don't WANT to do this, but most guys let them, so they oblige.)

If we find a truly amazing woman with her sh*t together, we know we'd gladly trade in the case of Trojans for a more established "relationship." And I hear about these all the time from guys who find her, but then proceed to get obsessed with her and scare her off.

This is why I always tell you to D.O.W. - Date Other Women!

It keeps your perspective, allowing you to not scare off the really worthwhile woman when you meet her. It keeps you from doing all the crazy obsessive things that push them away and ruin their attraction.

In this article, this writer then finishes up by saying: "While you're working on all this, don't stop dating. But do be a little choosier. ... Resist the temptation to jump right into a relationship with the first decent guy you meet, however."

Huh? So if a guy dates around, he's a philanderer. He's a bad-boy and not desirable. But she's saying it's okay for a woman to date several men and that makes her "choosy."

WTF???

Welcome to the Double Standard that NO ONE talks about. It's okay for women to date a lot of guys and be choosy, because MEN are the ones to be watched out for, but a man has to woo her and romance ONLY her to see if he passes her tests for true love.

Puh-lease.

I smell what you're cookin', honey, and I'm leaving the kitchen.

While I'll agree that there are guys out there who do fit the role of the man who "sleeps around" on women, he's pretty darn rare in this day and age. And getting rarer every day thanks to our cultural awareness and a society of men that are now afraid of date-rape charges, sexual harassment lawsuits, and getting their balls cut off at the root in the new dating world.

It's only one guy in twenty that knows how to stay cool without getting giggly around a really attractive woman. And one in ten of those guys is even capable of the "player" lifestyle.

Think about it: How many guys do you know that you could honestly call "players"? And how many are really "bad boys"?

In reality, these terms are thrown around as labels for guys after the fact. If she couldn't keep him interested, he becomes a "player." If all her girlfriends thought he was hot and knew he wouldn't stick around, he was also a "bad boy."

Most guys I've seen out there who DO have the skill and qualities to date many women are:

1) Up front that they're not looking to settle down with one woman yet (which makes most women want to date and tame him even MORE), and

2) if a woman is lucky enough to find one of them, she KNOWS what she's getting into here. She's just happy to have found a guy who doesn't try to propose or pledge his undying love on the second date.

It's time to realize that you're grown ups, ladies. You're adults. We're all responsible for our actions. Nobody made you go crazy over that guy you KNEW wasn't going to be a long-term commitment. He didn't manipulate or trick you. You jumped in like a nine-year-old kid doing a cannonball dive in the deep end of a pool.

There's a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME.

Gentlemen, I'm not into Female Bashing, I'm into MALE EMPOWERMENT. I tell you the things you need to hear and understand to feel good about being a MAN again. This world we're in has suddenly made it unfashionable to have an XY chromosome.

Being a man is cool, Beavis... it absolutely ROCKS. And I know that the best thing is to LOVE women for who they are WITHOUT hating that I'm a red blooded MAN.

Love the smell of women, their crazy tests and head games, and love their soft squishy parts. But be sure you love the fact that women still want and need real MEN.

In this month's Playboy, Christina Applegate says: "What if we had a bunch of guys trying to be more feminine to fit in with us? We like the maleness of men - the take-charge, take-care-of-everything attitude."

Damn straight.

So here's the deal: While it's generally accepted that women can date around and be more "choosy," men have to deal with the universal stigma that they are expected to date only one woman. And, if by some stroke of fate, if you happen to have the abilities and skills to attract more than one woman, you might get labeled "bad boy."

But women will love you anyway, no matter what the label is.

Face it: Women like "bad boys" because they know how to make women happy. Women will take the chance that he might not stay with them for the fun they give them in return. They're REAL men.

Women also love bad boys because OTHER WOMEN love bad boys! Always remember that women want what other women want.

Dating: When Should I kiss her?

Being relaxed is one of the most important elements in pickup…and in life. When you are relaxed, you are also confident and spontaneous -- and being spontaneous drives girls crazy. Very few people on this planet are spontaneous. The majority of people behave according to routines and societal clichés.

Let’s take for example giving flowers. Girls used to like flowers, as it used to have deeper connection with love, caring for someone, fertility, etc... Eventually, society mainstreamed flowers and today flowers are a typical thing that every guy gives to a girl. It has become a routine. It’s not spontaneous and genuine. It doesn’t say, “You are unique and special and I care about you.” I meet so many girls today who want to puke when guys give them flowers. It’s so predictable. And being predictable is a KILLER of Attraction. If you are going to give her something, be spontaneous, original and creative.

When your body is relaxed, your mind will follow. And when your mind is relaxed, there are no limitations. You don't overthink -- you just do. When your logical brain is working too much, you don't listen to the things that come from your unconscious. This is extremely important to learn to do. If you listen your unconscious mind and your instincts, /you will get laid like crazy/. That is what most “Naturals” do. They don't think, they act from their unconscious.

How many times you asked yourself while talking with a girl, “Should I kiss her?” or, “How long should I wait before I kiss her?” Here’s some advice. If she’s giving you attraction signals and your body is telling you it’s time, GO FOR IT. Every time the window of opportunity appears, take it. If it closes you need to create new opportunity... which may never come again.

Let me explain what's happening in your body at that moment. The girl starts thinking about sex or kissing or just gives you strong attraction signals and you may not even be aware of it logically (girls can hide it beneath surface very well) but your body receives signals from her body (emotions are contagious) and the signal that she is attracted moves from your body to your brain. At this point you should trust your emotions and instincts, but instead your overused logical brain starts to rationalize and doubt the signal. Then you start asking yourself, “Should I kiss her?” etc...

This, “Should I kiss her?” didn't come from nowhere. It was triggered by something. It was triggered by her attraction to you and your body picks that up. That's one of biggest differences between guys who get laid and guys who don't get laid. One guy thinks and rationalizes while another guy ACTS and does something about it.

To make it simple: When you start thinking about whether you should kiss her or not, that means YOU SHOULD do it at exactly that moment. This all starts with making yourself very relaxed in every situation so that you are open to receive these subtle signals and respond genuinely from your unconscious instincts instead of your logical mind.

Check out the Badboy Lifestyle Seduction Guide, where Badboy unleashes his killer tactics for seducing any woman, anywhere!

Short term relationship: Some though and tips

When it comes to ongoing relationships, there are many options you can go for. Most guys who are good with girls go for seeing several girls, once or twice a week each. This leaves some free nights for finding other girls and for other hobbies. If you decide to do this, the strategy is simple. Once you sleep a girl several times, you can say you have a “relationship”. Whether you choose to inform her that you are seeing other girls is up to you. In my opinion, it’s easier to just tell her if she asks. If you are a solid player, she will be okay with it. Then, you see her once or twice a week and you keep her in your life by having great sex with her and making your time together interesting. You can maintain this for a long time if you don’t over or under commit to her. See her enough to satisfy her and keep the flame alive, but don’t see her so much that starts to assume she is your “one and only”. If you set the precedent of once or twice a week, you should be able to maintain it and avoid having her take over your life. Most girls will hover in this middle ground for a while as long as you keep her satisfied physically and emotionally. It’s a safe, efficient long term strategy.

But one of my good friends does things differently. He likes very intense, short term relationships with his women. What he does is as soon as he sleeps with a girl, she becomes center of his life…but only for couple of days. When he meets her, he dates her, makes love with her, then sweeps her off her feet and sees her every day after that... for a while. Basically he spends a very intense, commited 3-4 days with her and then he disappears from her life. It’s a fling. Girls come to understand this and can enjoy it as much as a man. It’s good because the relationship ends at its peak, so there are no negative emotions. The woman always remembers you as a big adventure she had. He communicates to them in very beginning that a long-term relationship is not possible, non-verbally… by his behavior. They know they are getting into a whirlwind romance with a seducer… and they love it.

If you want to do this, once you sleep with her, let her stay overnight, or see her the next day for dinner (sometimes they feel slutty for sleeping with you so you need to take her on a date to ease it.) Then ignite the passion again, make it very physical and take her home again and show her some *sexy time*. Do it for couple of days, then find a new girl and move on. Living this lifestyle is more like a having a series of short monogamous relationships... without all the hassles.

Check out the Badboy Lifestyle Seduction Guide, where Badboy unleashes his killer tactics for seducing any woman, anywhere!

How to manage long term relationship

For some reason, you can lose your game if you stay with one girl too long.I know lot of good players, guys who slept with 50-60 chicks a year, who had one relationship destroy them. It's something you cannot believe when you see it. Guys who were successful with woman, settle down for a while, and then can't seduce any girls at all when they are single again. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a long-term relationship with a girl you love. I like to stay monogamous sometimes. But this is an issue that many of us have noticed. Whenever I have broken up with a girl (from a relationship longer then a year), I feel like I am starting from scratch. NO calibration skills. Don’t know what to say. When to say it. What to think…Usually it takes a few months to get back on track. NO ONE is immune from this. It happened to me twice in my life and it will likely happen to you at some point. I just want to make sure you are aware of this issue so you know what to do when it happens. Let’s analyze what happens:You get into a relationship, love the girl, everything is perfect… Usually in the first few months, everything is smooth and interesting, you are exciting and unpredictable -- she falls in love. Then, over time, you become more and more predictable (the relationship becomes a routine) and you are start becoming nicer and nicer towards her as you get comfortable. You are receiving a LOT of exposure to female hormones and her “cutesy” emotions. These emotions will change you. They will make you nice. It’s biological. That’s how badboys and jerks get turned into nice guys.

Then you break up… You start gaming other girls, but you are not calibrated, you are too nice, too placating, too respectful; all those things that keep you from getting laid.

How to prevent this? First, make sure that even if you are in relationship, you still game other girls. You don’t have to fuck them, but make sure that you can still get attraction from other girls and that you ALWAYS have the option to fuck someone else. Knowing that you can fuck another girl at any time will give you power in the relationship you are in. You will never feel desperate or put yourself in a low power position because you are afraid of being lonely. Second, make sure you don not become a fucking woman. Keep doing things that feed your masculine side. Don’t become a weak pussywhipped mess who comes home and cooks and makes baby talk with his girlfriend every night. You can do that some of the time, but make sure that you and your girlfriend still know that you are always a MAN. A dominant man, who gets what he wants. Play sports, gamble, party with your friends, make money, drive a motorcycle, workout… Don’t just do just “couple” things and what she wants.

A great thing about relationships is that other girls see you as taken (forbidden fruit) and they want to be with you. You’ve probably noticed how they give you Indicators of Interest when you are with your girlfriend… That’s because girls want what other girls have instinctively. This can open a lot of easy opportunities.

I talk a lot more on how to properly keep girls around, break up with them and manage multiple relationships at the same time in the Badboy Lifestyle ebook that has recently been released. I’d recommend that you check it out.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Dating Tactics for men (Part three of three)

Dating Tactics for men (Part three of three)

10 important keys to make your first date successful.

Links to Previous Posts
Part I
Part II
Part III

The keys to venue changes I discovered is to go first *Low to Mid Key, then you go High Key, finally you go Low Key then----> She is ready (Your place or her place.)

Anyway, As for Venue 1 for during the day. (You can cut to the chest to High Key then Low key, there is no need to warm up during the day. The soul reason you warm them up during weeknight because you and she may be exhausted from working all day. You both may need half an hour to an hour to ease and chill. Make sense?) You guys can just set the place to meet up then roll into it. You can start it off with activity like Kayaking, Snowboarding, Skiing, WakeBoarding, Tennis, Volley Ball, etc. Though make sure you are at least decent at the activity you choose so you can at least banter or make fun of her. Then you can shift it to low key, comfort venue, preferably get some thing to drink and chill close to where you are or better (if your frame is strong) close to your house.

Other than super active venue, I can usually go meet up with her then I will have her drive me around. I am not telling her where exactly where we going, but I direct her to go to place like QFC, Whole Food, Larry's, Baskin Robbins, Cold Stone, anywhere she doesn't expect. Go in browse around the isles, pick up some snack or ice cream. Make it fun, she will be like what, why you brought me here!!! You will reply like, "Yeah, I need to grocery shop and I thought I would get two birds in one stone bringing you here." and smile. Then again, not telling her where we are going next, but she's driving. I can just give her direction until we arrive to the place (I usually pick the beach, Alki, Kirkland, Golden Garden, Water Front three block from my house or Park, Green Lake, Zoo, anywhere out door that you can find a bench to sit privately under the afternoon sun and not far away from where you live. The closer the better, just in case you decided to close.

You don't really have to do much, venue change during the day is easy because they feel safer. The last venue is her place or yours. The key is your frame, just do it...you lead her this far come up with something.
Some example: Tell her that she needs to meet your cat, Tell her that you suppose to meet this guys at home but you forgot and take her along, tell her that she needs to come see your painting, etc. Whatever is congruent at the time, remember to calibrate.
If you choose to go to her place; tell her that you want something to drink then go up, ask her if she have any tea or coffee, tell her that you need to use her restroom (credit: YellowMellow) anyway you can to go up. She knows, they all know what this means, it's in their nature to know and accept. When you are alone together, MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT. But take your time, no rush...if you can get to sexual escalation level with her. There is no need to rush things.

Okey, here are the High Key venue (Venue II) I choose to go at night.
It make sense to have fun and feel safe for her. You bring her out at night (she's aware what she might be doing with you, her social program resist, but her subconscious will submit and win if you play it right.). Crowd & High energy place will bring her sense of fun, energetic, safe. If you know how to dance go dance, if not go watch someone dance. You can go play pool, bowling, darts, whatever activity that will awaken your body and hers. Physical escalation is really important at this point. Touch her a lot, make her hit you, chase each other, Banter, have fun!!! Just enjoy it like being a little kid together. Then you will again together whine down at venue III. Don't spend too much time at High Energy venue, just enough to get you guys PUMP and awake. I usually do it around an hour or two and leave at high point!
When you leave, just say "Let's go." If she ask, you just say...there is some other cool place we need to check out.

NOTE: In comfort or venue III (Sexual Escalation, Pre Seduction), you have to already established some sort of physically escalation in vI and vII. If not, you can't close or start heavy kissing during venue III. Be bold, be assertive, kino test her over and over and over. Be confident, you lead (don't push too hard) and she will follow. If you have not escalate and yet you came this far. I really suggest, you might as well take her home. You have a few hours to work it. And if you didn't dare to do so, you are done until next time (if there is any). It's very subconscious level, you are trying to communicate with her. The key in venue III is be sincere and genuine, she's already pass all you shit test (push & pull, disqualification). THIS IS WHERE YOU GIVE HER what she deserve. And she will give you what you deserve.

This venue has to be low key, has enough privacy space for you to build rapport (deep and wide).

NOTE: Using Cab or walk to change venue is the better idea than drive yourself, except for the final venue (home). Plan each venue not to be too far apart, I sometimes venue change from Bell-Town to Capital hill depending on what kind of energy I am looking for at the moment.

I personally don't f-close on D2 if I think I want to keep her for a while. I will make out and push it as far as I can then I will slow it down and say something like...well, I really like you and I want to see you again. And I don't want you to think that I am here just for this. I enjoy your company...blah blah...something sweet and memorable that make me sound like a non-needy and I can hold off for sex. This usually automatically kills the LMR next time I see her because she feel like she can trust me and I am not here to take advantage of her sexually. Make sense? It's also a form of push and pull. Usually, she will be happy to come out with me on D3 to close. There you have another f-buddy or it could turn into something great.

8) Convey your value using Venue Location, your BL, your identity, disqualification, banters, and story. Mostly convey by how you interact with her and other around you at times.

At this point, I think I've provided enough guideline for you to follow through. But all this will not work if you don't have a strong frame and convey the right value. She will (of course) still shit test you and you have to be able to handle it and maintain your frame. It is up to you to convey that you can lead, be authoritative, and high value. The more you do, the more it will make sense and everything will fall into place. Do not expect to pull it off the first time, but try your best. Once you understand the game, you don't really have to do all the step. You can skip here and there, and see what fits. You can even just invite her into your place, have fun and close if your game is tight. You can experiment and do all sort of things and it will still work! That's the beauty of it once you understand what you are doing.

9) You should have already in mind what kind of a woman you would like to keep dating (Make a list of RED FLAGs for yourself, it will be useful for your interaction also when you disqualify her.)

I was looking at this topic and I am thinking. It could make its own topic so...I will talk about it sometime soon. It's really important to know what you are looking for instead of just looking for something on the surface.

10) BE FEARLESS and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS keep it LIGHT and FUN!!! Remember that D2 is still part of the PICK UP. Neither of us are SOLD yet, it's part of the game. DO NOT invest too much emotional or mental. DON"T SWEAT it!!! Most guys usually do, so don't be that guy. (I guess I have no need to explain this one in depth. I've said enough.)

END

Peace!!!

Dating Tactics for men (Part two of three)

10 important keys to make your first date successful.

Links to Previous Posts
Part I
Part III

I want to emphasize on this point I previously mention since it can have a huge impact on Day 2.

7) Venues change about three times to build trust and comfort. And make her invest more mentally, emotionally, and physically.

*What do I mean by that? Why do we need venue change to make successful Day 2.

- It will give her a sense of false time constraint. The more places you go, the more experience you share. It will seem as if she’s known you longer than it actually is.

- It creates more trust and comfort as you go places together as you experience.

- It shows that you are fun, spontaneous, exciting, knows where to go around town, and she will definitely want to come out with you again

- Most typical first dates are probably dining and stay in one location ‘til whenever, it makes you different than most guys she used to experience.

- Staying in one place for too long will create many awkward, silent moment, not spontaneous and boring for you and her.

From my experience, venue changes will help up your D2 a level or two. Though, you have to have some kind of strategy to make your smooth transition from no physical to physical escalation and then sexual escalation.

The first venue should provide you a warm up phrase. What I mean is a place where there are people but not too crowd, some music or medium energy is okay but not too loud so you guys can really talk. I find half lounge/half restaurant or coffee house are a good place for Venue 1. I usually get off work around 7:00 pm or so then go home, get ready, and maybe some food. By the time I am ready, it’s usually around 8:30 pm. Earliest I usually do is around 7:00 pm. I think weeknight, anywhere from 7:30pm to 9:00pm is a good time to start because it will take some time for her after work to dine and get ready. Unless she has to go to work early then you will have to make an earlier arrangement. Estimate time is about 3-5 hours, but really it is up to you and how far you want to take it with her.

#Venue 1: *Warm up location; qualify & attraction, comfort, casual physical escalation.* When she arrives, you escort her but holding her hand then take her thru the crowd to where you guys would be seated. Let go of her hand, then sit down. I would recommend the bar part (you can sit closer to each other), not the table (this will throw her off a bit). If you pick the table, try not to sit across from her (for escalation purpose, and psychologically). You can sit 90 degree from her. Find out about her, banter, qualify…keep casual physical escalation. Open sets in your proximity (guys and girls no matter), engage her in it (This will show her your social intelligent and casual: lots of DHV). Be friendly to the staff (flirt with the waitress, but don't go too far or you will come off as sleesy) , Bartenders, and Bouncers. I usually go places that I know staff and often I run into people I know. Keep kino her on her shoulder, rest you hand on her knee, then let go. It work well when you qualify her and keep kino as reward and punishment. Keep touching her hand while you talk, then let go. Then do it again while you talk and make it natural, then let go, but lengthen the time of contact.

The KEY is to finish one drink (or two) and then GO Venue 2, keep it short!
*This apply to both DayD2 and NightD2*

The reason I choose particular locations for my first venue is mainly because it is low to medium key kind of place. But with enough crowd, it will make her feel more comfortable and not feeling isolate or being on a date (we misdirect her perception a bit.) Do not bring her to a quite/private place right away…wait…warm her up until she’s ready. Kind of like sex from a women perspective.

To be continued (I only have this much time to type today so…I will be back. I will also try to cover the Daytime Day 2 also)

Continue on Next Post: Part III

Dating Tactics for men (Part one of three)

"The more you sweat in training, the less you will bleed in battle." - Motto of Navy Seals

Dating Tactics for men

10 important keys to make your first date successful.

I thought I was going to talk about how girls love being hit on if you do it right, but I change my mind today. : )

I’ll talk about it later. Lots of people in Seattle community always ask me advice on D2 so I felt like laying out my so-called D2 strategy (if there is one).

Pick Up doesn’t end at getting her phone# or e-mail. All that doesn’t mean shit! It great and all to brag to your friends and family about how you got many digits this week. But I repeat…all the digits and e-mails does not mean shit if you cannot get her out! Once you can get her out on D2, you are still only half way there. Some prefer final closure on D2, but I prefer to do it on D3 or even D4 (thought on D2 you should at least kiss her or be physical already and keep escalating. You should hold the power.)

Key element here is always KEEP YOUR HOUSE CLEAN! (Doesn’t have to be spotless, but cleanliness is a turn ON for quality HB.)

D2:

I usually meet my date on the venue I suggested on the meet (Day 1). *Some school of thought suggest that have a woman come over then go out, I think that’s cool but it’s not my style because I don’t usually just ask for phone# then bridge unless I have no option. I usually bridge her on spot, suggesting things to do, to see together so she know what the date would be like. I painted a date picture for her so she could fantasize it until the day comes. Also the bridge time for Day 2 should be less than a week. I usually set it up within a few days after Day 1. The reason being, she will still have that emotional excitement of meeting you on Day 1, don’t leave it for too long. The sooner it is, the less chances for her to change her mind. Be clear, and direct of when and where when you set it up, though be casual as if you do it all the time. Never go for dinner!!! Why? It’s very typical, and imagine how much money you will be spending if you have three to four D2s in a week, then you will have to go out again on Fri & Sat. Also never go to Movie, Play, Concert or anything that will not give you much chance to interact on Day 2!!! On Day 2 you need to be able to convey your personality and you need to get to know her. You should pick a place where there are light activity and private enough for you to communicate effectively. There are many interesting free events, quiet lounge, free live music, free show, anywhere that have some interesting things going on at no extra cost. I usually already have weekly schedule in my head of what’s going on around town from Monday to Thursday night (Hint: you don’t ask them out on Fri or Sat. Those are BIG days, targets rich day, and sometimes I reserved it for special HBs. Sunday is also good for D2 because the most people feel relax and casual.) So my usual routine Day 2 are Monday to Thursday. Another advantage of those days is that most girls have lower expectation on the weeknight. It will be really impressive if you can make her supposedly boring weeknight a blast!

My routine of Day 2 usually involves mostly three venues change, and I spend about an hour on each venue. Always leave the venue at somewhat high point to keep the energy up and positive association with the place (key).

The forth venue is to be decided if you consider an f-close (either your place or her place, no matter.)

Here are keys to keep in mind at all time during Day 2.

1) Be casual and relax, don’t act as if it’s a big deal. Don’t over do things or overly exited. Watch your body language. Act like you do this all the time or fake it until you make it.

2) Do not give her direct answer for most of the conversation in the beginning, keep it light and fun. Though you have to calibrate, don’t push it too far. Reward her as she invest more and qualify herself to you by rapport (wide then deep). If you are in comfort and rapport then ENGAGE in the conversation.

3) Disqualify/ tease her from time to time during the conversation, and lead the conversation. (ex: blah blah…wait! Do you know how to cook? If she said “no” “Seriously? This is not going to work out. I am so sorry….*pause to see her reaction*…What else can you do? If it sounds good, I might give you an exception.” Or “What?!!! You have never seen that movie? Where have you been hiding?” or if she suggests that we will see each other again, you have to throw this in “What make you think that we’ll see each other again?” All these have to be light and fun, timing is also very important. Make her guess if you are being serious or joking, play with her state a bit.)

4) Always reward and punishment (push & pull): (ex: if she said she can cook. “Wow, I love it! Women these days don’t even know where the kitchen is.” Then kiss her on the cheek and hug –reward-, then “But wait! Are you good?” then she will probably hit you and giggle. When she hits you, “Hey, hey! It will cost you $50 per hit, you know. I am expensive.” Lean back and smile. Then she will probably hit you more.)

5) Tone attraction down into comfort when she passes your qualification (reward her by rapport, listen to her, KINO.) *but remember to shift it back once in a while to keep it light and fun.

6) Always keep escalating (Keep sexual tension alive or you will end up in friend zone.) by using reward and punishment or any other means you feel comfortable with. ( I french a girl when she does or say something I really really like. One date I went on, she told me that “You know sometime I believe that we all need the moment to be free, to bring out our real instinct and emotion. We have to throw away rational for a moment so we can be closer to our true self.” I was really impressed so I stared into her eyes, pause, then I kiss her passionately. When you kiss her passionately, you are crossing the zone from "casual physical escalation"(Hand holding, Knee/shoulder touching, kiss on the cheek, light fun physical contact stage or Pre-Make out stage.) to "sexual escalation" ( Make out to Pre-foreplay stage.). Or you can create your own opportunity but you have to make it seems as if she did something impressive that cause you to kiss her.”