Monday, October 22, 2007

Personality traits that will make her fall for you.

Personality and the Biggest Male Mistake with Women

Have you ever met someone that you felt was just really boring? Bland? Dull? It's interesting, because it's rarely about what a person HAS that adds up to their being boring; it's what they're MISSING. Personality...

Have you ever met someone that you felt was just really boring? Bland? Dull?
It's interesting, because it's rarely about what a person HAS that adds up to their being boring; it's what they're MISSING. A person lacks personality because they are like a song without any hook or catchy riff.

You gotta have personality if you're going to get a woman interested in you.

A woman has to feel that static crackle around you, that you're not like the rest of the chumps with "LOOKING FOR SEX" tattooed on their foreheads.

She wants to see some spark, some glimmer of magical presence that you carry.

A woman walks through life fairly bored with her relationship possibilities. I have a theory that most men don't really challenge them at all. For you to make an impression, you just have to offer her something she doesn't usually get from the salad bar.

Can you excite her? Can you demonstrate a man with qualities that separates him from that pack of wild hyenas?

To snap her out of her stupor, what would you be willing to do? What if I told you that you don't have to do much to wake her up? You don't have to juggle, or dance, or perform acrobatics.

You've just got to stand out from the rest of the guys out there. You've got to be willing to display some PERSONALITY.

What makes up "personality"?

Mystery - The self-control to keep certain secrets and avoid telling her everything about you.
Humor - Make her laugh
Confidence - The willingness to be independent and not needy of a woman
Originality - Thinking different than the crowd
Excitement and Positivity - The great attitude and energy of a person with a purpose
Hobbies and interests - OTHER than women. This is what it means to "get a life."
Conversational Ability - The ability to communicate with women on a level they can understand and get excited about

There are other, subtler traits that could be talked about in boring detail, but these are the important aspects of projecting a winning personality to women.

If I were to boil it down to just two of these, I'd say humor and conversational ability are the foundation, and the others just serve as polish to make you gleam in her eyes.

If you can make her laugh - a real laugh that says she finds you witty and amusing, without putting yourself down - you will get her to open the door of opportunity for you.

If you can talk to her about that and everything else in between, without making her feel like you're trying to get her into bed, that you appreciate her as unique and special, you'll get to step inside that door of opportunity.

PERSONALITY SABOTAGE

Would you like to know what you're doing that sabotages this along the way?

There's one thing you do that undermines all this effort to get her attracted with your witty conversation, and you have to get rid of it to succeed long term.

The single behavior that shoots down more potential relationships and is completely under your control is ....
Are you ready for this?

The single behavior that shoots down more potential relationships and is completely under your control is ....
I'm not sure I should tell you this, but you need to know. It's important ...

The single behavior that shoots down more potential relationships and is completely under your control is ....
COMING ON TO A WOMAN TOO STRONG.

Now the funny part about me telling you that is that you can hear me tell you this, and you'll even nod your head and say, "Yeah, dude, I know..."

BUT YOU WON'T STOP DOING IT!

Why?

Why can't you stop yourself?

I got in a discussion with a female friend of mine the other day. She came in and told me that she was going to Boston and hoped things would go well on this business trip. She said she thought there was an 85% chance that she wouldn't get all stressed out. I asked her, "Well, what accounts for that other 15%?" She said, "Oh, that's stuff I can't control."

I waited for a beat, then I said, "How you feel and react is 100% under your control. It's whether you CHOOSE to or not. How you react is ALWAYS under your power. No one else makes you do anything."

She wanted to argue with me over whether her reaction was 100% under her "responsibility" rather than control, but I refused to back down. She was just trying to find a reason to excuse herself for not doing things she knew she needed to do. Responsibility is not the same as actually understanding that you are not under some other mystical power or influence. YOU are the one who does everything. By choice.

We could go into a whole circular debate over the nature of free will here, but I won't. You need to take both responsibility AND control of your actions. When you fail to do what you know you must do, there's a REASON. And until you find out what that REASON is, you'll probably never change your behavior.

So back to my original point - why do men come on strong to women?
(Since this is the one part of your personality that will sabotage all your work unless you can control it.)

It's because we're in a hurry. We lack the self-discipline to slow it down.

Men want quick affection, sex, and security with a woman. And then we want the space and relaxed distance.
Women want space and relaxed distance. THEN they want affection, sex, and a build-up of trust and security.

Do you see how this ruins your work?

If you come on too strong, she backs off. If you come on slow and easy (which also demonstrates confidence and self-control) she'll go along with you.

Can you see what you're doing wrong and correct it, without having someone tell you to your face what you may be doing to put them off?

Can you let go of what other people think of you and act based on your internal compass instead of their judgments?

And then can you exercise the self control you need to in order to stop coming on too strong to her? She won't date you or sleep with you just because you push her hard enough. She'll do it because her attraction mechanism inside her is turned on by your personality, and then feeling that she has the space to reach forward and act on her desires with you. She cannot do this if you're all over her like white on rice.

Learn the reasons why you can't stop yourself from doing what you know you should do. Learn what these mechanisms are inside you that keep you from doing the things you know you must, and then change them.

Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as "Secrets of the Alpha Male", "Approach Women - NOW!", "Alpha Immersion" and "Alpha Man Communication & Persuasion".

How to create sexual tension with any woman

How to Create (or Kill) Sexual Tension

One thing that is critical for developing attraction with a woman that will lead to your eventual seduction success is learning how to build and nurture the sexual tension between you.

One thing that is critical for developing attraction with a woman that will lead to your eventual seduction success is learning how to build and nurture the sexual tension between you.

Remember that when you first begin to interact with a woman, unless she already has a strong initial attraction for you - sometimes known as "chemistry", you are in a neutral zone with her. This is a place where she has yet to make up her mind as to whether you are interesting to her or not.

Now, you can choose to sift through dozens and dozens of women looking for the few that you have that instant "chemistry" with, but I find it much more practical to stimulate the woman's attraction so that she has that chemistry right away, and then I can choose whether or not to act on my own attraction. It's like getting a pre-approved loan and knowing you COULD go out and buy that new Porsche, but it's YOUR choice.

This, guys, is what seduction is all about. Having your own choice as to whether a woman interests YOU or not, not the other way around.

Back to the Neutral Zone (and I'm not talking about that Star Trek term, either...)

In order to get that tension going - a necessary tension - you need to zap her out of her neutral funk and get her into feeling EXCITEMENT. There are many ways to do this:

1. Teasing - You find little areas of insecurity, and you play with them a little. This isn't to belittle her or make her feel bad about herself, but to demonstrate your own confidence and security by showing that you're aware of your own dominance as a man, and that you do not fear her. Teasing also lowers her guard a little so that you can reach that "real" part of her personality that she is cloaking with defensive behavior. (Sometimes called "tease to please")

2. Humor - Humor takes the edge off your teasing (sometimes called cocky/funny). Women are dying to laugh. There are so many guys out there that have ZERO humor to them. They take everything too seriously, including women, which - honestly - creeps them out. Compare: A man with humor enjoys life, is relaxed enough to find the fun in everything, and shows that he has a sense of inner calm. A man without humor is not relaxed, takes things way too seriously, and tends to smother and convey insecurity with his intense behavior.

3. Contradiction - An independent, secure guy can express his own opinion (and he MUST). You should make it a point to contradict her opinion from time to time to demonstrate that you do not need her approval. He doesn't do it to prove her wrong, but to state his own belief in clear terms. And this includes calling her on her bratty behavior, as well as taking control when the situation demands it. This may be the toughest behavior for most "nice guys" to adopt. And it will also sound radically contrary to what you've been brought up to believe by the media and your mom.

4. Detachment - Again, an independent, secure man does not NEED a woman (or other people, for that matter) for his approval. He can stand alone and separate of her opinion, and it doesn't ruffle his feathers if she doesn't like something he did or said. This means the ability to walk away, turn away, and otherwise disengage from a woman so that she understands he is not there to kiss her ass. Another way to show this is to allow for long pauses between contacts with a woman. Don't email her right back. Don't call her right back. A few days could easily pass for a guy who is overwhelmed with women, so why shouldn't it be that way for you right now? Give her a chance to miss you. (Instead of wondering why you're so desperate that you leave five messages every day.)

These are just some of the ways you can heighten the level of sexual tension between you and a woman.

Now, there are some guys out there that are afraid of raising this tension. I suspect this is partly because this kind of tension feels uncomfortable to them. It can often border on making her angry which is something that most guys are afraid to do. After all, you want her to LIKE you, right? How will making her potentially DISlike you help?

Well, it's really about a push-pull effect. The idea is to induce a gentle tug-of-war with her that will get things started. When she thinks you're going to pull, you give her slack, which throws her off balance. And that's when you pull her back in. It's just like fishing: Give her a little "line," and see if she bites. When she does, you pull in a little. (Too much too quick and you yank the hook right back out.) Then you give her a little slack so she thinks she's free, and the hook digs in a little more. Then you give it a little tug to pull her back in.

Push-pull. Reel her in, let her go.

The tension you are elevating has only one kind of outlet - sexual attraction. Sometimes it will even start out as anger and then morph into passion and lust. (Remember the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy.)

You're better off with a woman that is pissed at you than one that has no feelings for you. Your knee-jerk reaction to her anger is to smooth out the problem, afraid that you've somehow lost her. When you don't NEED, you can't LOSE.

Again, passion very often starts out with a woman APPEARING to hate the man at first.

(Review how this happens in the first Indiana Jones movie, as well as the movie "The Breakfast Club," and especially the police station scene in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." Yes, they are movies, but they accurately depict how this phenomenon works. And if you'll watch it closely, it may seem counter to what you might think, but at a gut level - it MAKES SENSE and feels right. This sort of thing happens all the time.)

Don't be afraid of that tension, guys. Feed off it and escalate it. This will make the difference between the guy that walks away with the sweet taste of woman on his lips... or the bland and disappointing taste of her "friendship."

Never over use compliment with beautiful women, make them earn it.

Far, Far and Away

There is a point in this silly Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman romance movie. You just have to watch carefully.

I got a membership to that DVD rental service where you get your selections mailed to you, and I've been watching a lot of movies, catching up on the classics. A lot of guy movies, like "The Dirty Dozen", "Where Eagles Dare", "The Majestic Seven", and others.

I happened to put down "Far and Away" as a title, and it came up recently. Now, a lot of you are going to chuckle at that. A silly Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman romance.

But, you know, it was actually pretty watchable.

Not incredibly deep as far as a story goes, but it was nice to watch. Well-produced. And there was something I noticed about it that you ought to look at. Tom Cruise makes both the "chump" error and the "champ" corrections in the course of the movie.

Let's review them:

At first, Tom tells Nicole when she asks him if she's beautiful that "he's never seen anything like her", she basically says, "Good" and turns away from him. You can see the look in his eyes as he's saying to himself, "What the hell happened? I told her she was beautiful, and she rolled over and went to sleep. Isn't that what she wanted?"

Classic mistake when dealing with beautiful women. Never compliment their beauty before you've got them hooked. It has ZERO affect.

Later, Tom is getting some booty attention from the women at the place where he fights, and from the whores that live in his boarding house. Nicole gets bratty and jealous, acting as if she's pissed at him, but really she's just wishing she could act on her attraction. This establishes Tom as desirable by other women, jacking up her attraction even further.

Later on, Tom gets in an argument with Nicole and he throws her in a tub full of water, putting her in her place. You can see the meek manner in which she realizes how she was acting like a bitch.

She's the classical bratty beautiful woman, and Tom learns how to dominate her in the right way. All through the movie, in fact, she behaves in the classic mode of the spoiled beautiful woman who has had every man just fall at her feet.

Note how turned on she becomes when Tom fights - and especially when he fights for her.

Check this movie out sometime as part of your homework. You'll find a bunch of classical behavior patterns in here to learn from.

Subcommunication with any woman and she will subconsciouly response.

Energy

The way we use our energy is indicative of our personalities and personal inclinations. How do women react to frustration?

Some of you may be familiar with some Eastern school of thought on how energies are used in the human body. Chinese philosophies refer to it as Chi, and the energy itself can have both female and male (Yin and Yang) "flavors" to it. The way we use our energy is indicative of our personalities and personal inclinations. Whatever you choose to call it, I think we all agree that this energy is very real, even if we're not sure how to channel it.

Now, don't worry, I'm not going off on a mystical California carpet ride with you. I'm just trying to highlight a concept with you that relates to dating.

I was having a talk with a fellow webmaster, and we were discussing how men and women channel their energies in their lives. Think about how you use your own creative energy, or your physical energy. We sometimes put it into our exercise, such as Triathlons and weightlifting. Or, you may be like me, a frustrated writer that needs to pour his mind out on paper as a form of mental therapy.

What about sexual energy? Now, any guy that's spent a couple weeks abstinent knows what I mean by this kind of energy, and you damn well know it's real, too. There are days of sexual frustration where you wake up and shut off your alarm with a roundhouse kick, and then you go to work and belt out about thirty pages of spreadsheets, upgrade the workstations on five floors, and it's not even 7:30 in the morning.

For a woman, sexual energy is less about immediate and direct gratification. Most of the women I have known never get "horny" the way a guy will. Sure, some do, but it's only after they've broken down some of their trust barriers with a man and can feel safe and secure about putting her more primal physical desires out there.

Now, think about frustration for a guy. When a guy gets frustrated from his goal, what happens? When you find yourself thwarted at every turn, what emotion begins to rear its head?

You get angry.

Men are hardwired by the testosterone in their bloodstream to feel aggression when they are held back from their desires. They get pissed, and then they are prone to get very aggressive. Now, luckily for modern civilization, we don't always act on this feeling, but if you look around you I think you'll agree that we still let that frustration find its natural outlet. I get frustrated at certain things in my life, and I'll feel the old Incredible Hulk syndrome start to kick in. (Even if I can't shred my shirt and kick as much ass as the Hulk can.)

How do women react to frustration?

Have you ever watched a woman when she gets flustered and teased? Have you seen how she behaves? I'll be honest, it's almost embarrassingly primitive and childish.

First, the women gets excited. It even looks amazingly like anger, but it's not. It's a delicious cocktail of thrilling and emotional energy.

Then, the woman gets TURNED ON.

She doesn't even realize it, but it's there. You see, women have an entirely different reaction and outlet for their frustration, and it's not like our male aggressive behavior. It's a form of FEMALE aggression, called sexual excitement. She can't get rid of the energy any other way.

Remember this. It's why women respond to the Tease to Please so strongly. It's why they respond to our challenges the way they do. And it's the secret for leading her into attraction for you.

At first, you may reject this as being too simplistic and cliche, but if you look behind the Hollywood smoke screen, you'll see that this is what she's looking for. This is what many women respond to, and it's a critical step in your building up mystery and challenge in her eyes.

Is it wrong to date multiple beautiful women?

Double Standard

They are saying that it's ok that a woman sees more than a single guy. But when a guy dates more than a single woman he's bad boy. Double standards or what!?

I was sent an "article" (I use quotes because the value of this information is in doubt) about men who "step out" on their women.

Step out. You gotta love these old terms that journalists keep using because they evoke emotional pictures in your mind.

The woman's question to this - (COUGH) - "advisor" was "I don't know why, but I keep attracting jerks."

Now this advisor is a "VP of Romance" (Yeah, right) of a very popular online dating site. (And since we all know that men don't know anything about "romance," this advisor is a woman.)

She proceeds to describe bad boys and why women are attracted to them, because they are "philanderers and con artists."

Wow, strong words.

Well, I cover this in my e-books, along with the breakdown of the "bad boy" and how you can use the good parts of his personality. Her use of the term "con artist" is out of bitterness. Some "bad boys" are just plain criminals that women fall for because they lack the self-esteem to hold to a higher standard. Bad Boys are not necessarily those penitentiary romances, folks.

Bad boys are men that have the right combination of qualities to make them interesting to women, but some character flaws that make them unsuitable for a long-term commitment. These guys are like ecstasy for women primarily because there are so many guys that BORE the hell out of them.

Bad boys attract women because they have all the right confidence traits that women genuinely desire. The downside is that many of these bad boys are genuinely assholes.

I believe that most guys out there are good at heart. We want a good woman that won't nag or control us (and they don't WANT to do this, but most guys let them, so they oblige.)

If we find a truly amazing woman with her sh*t together, we know we'd gladly trade in the case of Trojans for a more established "relationship." And I hear about these all the time from guys who find her, but then proceed to get obsessed with her and scare her off.

This is why I always tell you to D.O.W. - Date Other Women!

It keeps your perspective, allowing you to not scare off the really worthwhile woman when you meet her. It keeps you from doing all the crazy obsessive things that push them away and ruin their attraction.

In this article, this writer then finishes up by saying: "While you're working on all this, don't stop dating. But do be a little choosier. ... Resist the temptation to jump right into a relationship with the first decent guy you meet, however."

Huh? So if a guy dates around, he's a philanderer. He's a bad-boy and not desirable. But she's saying it's okay for a woman to date several men and that makes her "choosy."

WTF???

Welcome to the Double Standard that NO ONE talks about. It's okay for women to date a lot of guys and be choosy, because MEN are the ones to be watched out for, but a man has to woo her and romance ONLY her to see if he passes her tests for true love.

Puh-lease.

I smell what you're cookin', honey, and I'm leaving the kitchen.

While I'll agree that there are guys out there who do fit the role of the man who "sleeps around" on women, he's pretty darn rare in this day and age. And getting rarer every day thanks to our cultural awareness and a society of men that are now afraid of date-rape charges, sexual harassment lawsuits, and getting their balls cut off at the root in the new dating world.

It's only one guy in twenty that knows how to stay cool without getting giggly around a really attractive woman. And one in ten of those guys is even capable of the "player" lifestyle.

Think about it: How many guys do you know that you could honestly call "players"? And how many are really "bad boys"?

In reality, these terms are thrown around as labels for guys after the fact. If she couldn't keep him interested, he becomes a "player." If all her girlfriends thought he was hot and knew he wouldn't stick around, he was also a "bad boy."

Most guys I've seen out there who DO have the skill and qualities to date many women are:

1) Up front that they're not looking to settle down with one woman yet (which makes most women want to date and tame him even MORE), and

2) if a woman is lucky enough to find one of them, she KNOWS what she's getting into here. She's just happy to have found a guy who doesn't try to propose or pledge his undying love on the second date.

It's time to realize that you're grown ups, ladies. You're adults. We're all responsible for our actions. Nobody made you go crazy over that guy you KNEW wasn't going to be a long-term commitment. He didn't manipulate or trick you. You jumped in like a nine-year-old kid doing a cannonball dive in the deep end of a pool.

There's a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME.

Gentlemen, I'm not into Female Bashing, I'm into MALE EMPOWERMENT. I tell you the things you need to hear and understand to feel good about being a MAN again. This world we're in has suddenly made it unfashionable to have an XY chromosome.

Being a man is cool, Beavis... it absolutely ROCKS. And I know that the best thing is to LOVE women for who they are WITHOUT hating that I'm a red blooded MAN.

Love the smell of women, their crazy tests and head games, and love their soft squishy parts. But be sure you love the fact that women still want and need real MEN.

In this month's Playboy, Christina Applegate says: "What if we had a bunch of guys trying to be more feminine to fit in with us? We like the maleness of men - the take-charge, take-care-of-everything attitude."

Damn straight.

So here's the deal: While it's generally accepted that women can date around and be more "choosy," men have to deal with the universal stigma that they are expected to date only one woman. And, if by some stroke of fate, if you happen to have the abilities and skills to attract more than one woman, you might get labeled "bad boy."

But women will love you anyway, no matter what the label is.

Face it: Women like "bad boys" because they know how to make women happy. Women will take the chance that he might not stay with them for the fun they give them in return. They're REAL men.

Women also love bad boys because OTHER WOMEN love bad boys! Always remember that women want what other women want.

Know how, but use your dating power responsibly!

Beware The Alfie

Jude Law movie "Alfie" analyzed. What you SHOULD know!

I happened to watch the Jude Law movie "Alfie" the other night.

While I can't recommend it based on its merits as a movie (especially if you have as little time as I do), I found the message in it to be very disturbing and worth noting.

Basically, the film is about a young British guy (good looking, of course) who is a limo driver in New York City. He's a ladies man, and pulls action all the time. Over the course of the movie, you see his cocky and confident facade pulled down by a series of events that make him re-think his approach to life and women.

Now, on the surface, this seems like the standard cautionary tale about not using people and thinking of other people's feelings. After all, Alfie is just using these poor women and being a real jerk.

But wait a minute here... IS he?

He actually is very straightforward about his intentions from the start. He explains that he doesn't want to stick with one woman. He doesn't mistreat any of his ladies, and they all enjoy his company. And while these women all act hurt from time to time about the fact that Alfie isn't likely to settle down with any of them, they all knew the deal from the beginning.

The danger that this movie presents is that it portrays these women as helpless victims, women who we are supposed to believe were tricked into Alfie's bed under false pretenses.

The one that stands out is his friend's girlfriend who actually comes on to HIM and they get jiggy on the pool table at her bar. Now, some bad things happen because of this get-together, but again, she knew what she was doing - and WANTED to do it.

Here's the dangerous and incorrect message that the movie tries to get you to believe: "Women are helpless creatures who can't make their own decisions, and the man that seduces them is a BAD person."

Oh, and one more related message is underneath that one: "Guys who seduce or sleep with more than one woman, OR who don't want to be tied down, are JERKS."

And one more that's even more disturbing: "Women aren't responsible for their decisions."

This is the dangerous message that the media is trying to perpetuate on you. It's dangerous for men and women. And, quite honestly, it's more insulting to women if you look at it in the right light.

Every one of the women in that movie knew what she was doing. It's not the man's responsibility to sit her down and have her sign a disclosure before she sleeps with him so that she acknowledges the reality of what she's getting into.

The real truth is that women often put on romantic blinders when dealing with men. (Men even do this.) We see and believe what we WANT to so that we can DO what we want to.

Unless you have a gun held to your head, you CHOOSE to do everything that you do. No one is pulling your strings.

Unless you are outright lying and being deceitful with a person, they are making the choices that they WANT to make.

Don't believe this garbage that men are the cads and womanizers. Women - and men - everywhere need more guys like Alfie to demonstrate the real Alpha Man traits that are sorely lacking in our world today.

Sometimes all a woman wants is a guy she can have a good time with, no matter how long it lasts.

And if you asked her how she felt about most of the guys she's had her "fun" with, she'd probably tell you she'd gladly do it all over again, knowing exactly how it would have to end.

How to approach women with no rejection!

How to Meet Women With No Rejection

Prejudice. What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me, too...

Before I give up one of my secrets, I want to talk about a dirty word with you.

Well, it's not a cuss word, but it's dirty because no one wants to talk about it.

That word is: Prejudice.

What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me, too.

I grew up Italian and poor in a city in Upstate New York, near Buffalo. I used to catch a lot of grief for my nationality, but also because we had no money.

I remember distinctly one summer when I was working for the town. I had a few weeks left in the program to earn some money, and I was a po' little 15 year old kid. I just needed a few bucks to buy some stuff I needed for the school year.

I remember sitting in the office of the town recreation board supervisor. A big fat guy named Ron, if my memory serves. I sat there in his front lobby for a while to wait and see if I would get the job for a little longer that year.

Before my turn came to talk to Ron to find out, in walks big Vinny. No, that's no dumb mafia joke. Vinny was the son of a local business owner who had some clout in the area. Well, big Vinny and Big Daddy go into Ron's office, while I watch Ron slap Vinny's dad on the back like they were long-lost brothers. The door closes behind them and their laughter.

My heart sank.

Right then, I knew I didn't get the job. Vinny was all set, and Carlos was out in the cold.

I remember sitting there with that disappointed feeling in my gut, knowing that this little rich kid was going to screw me out of my few extra dollars for the summer. Money that daddy could have given him in a minute, but would take me a month to earn.

And now I wouldn't get it, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. It was the good ol' boy's club, and I didn't meet their membership requirements.

Now, I could have gotten all mad about it, stomped my feet about it not being "fair," and all. It really wasn't even Vinnie's fault. He couldn't know.

But I remember having another realization. I thought that if Ron was stupid enough to hire a lazy dweeb like Vinny, then they can keep their lousy job.

Of course, that wasn't much consolation. Until I came up with another realization: I would WIN.

No matter how much the odds were stacked against me in life, I would prevail. I could have my dick kicked in the dirt, and I would get back up again.

So why am I telling you this? Yet another of Carlos' childhood stories... Well, it's because the unfair situation that I found myself in doesn't have to happen to you. Even if it comes up in another way.

You're a victim of women's prejudice, and you might not be aware of it. Just the same way I was as a kid, you are now. And it has nothing to do with your appearance or color of skin or even your income.

Let's break down the word a bit.

Pre-jud-ice.
Pre-judge.
To judge too soon.

Get this: It's been shown in some recent studies that we make snap decisions about people based on facial expressions and body language that takes place in less than the BLINK OF AN EYE. Literally.

I just finished this great book, "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. It's a study of how the human brain makes all these complicated decisions without us even knowing about it.

In his book, he talks about these indicators and signals that we don't know we're seeing, but we're making judgments about other people based upon them.

Now something I want to add to this is that women are making them about YOU without you knowing about it.

Some of them will change if you take control of them, but a lot of them are tied DIRECTLY to your sense of self-esteem. You'll show them because they're impossible to control entirely.

Whoah. Think about that for a second. There are a bunch of things you can control about your appearance and so forth, but a lot of these behaviors are OUTSIDE your control. (Well, not completely, as I'll explain.)

I think this means that a lot of guys out there are treating the symptoms rather than the disease.

And that's exactly what you're doing if you are trying to learn a ton of new "tricks" and seduction/hypnosis tools without training yourself and working on your INNER game first. All those cool hypnotic words and "negging" techniques don't work right if you don't know how to properly communicate your Alpha value to a woman.

Sure, you can "peacock," but you have to have the right belief system to back it up or you'll come across as a dweeb in a top hat and eye-liner.

There's some good news here, though. You can learn how to override a woman's "Blink" response to you by bypassing it entirely.

That's right. When you demonstrate Alpha Male confidence, you are creating the persona (a REAL persona, not a fake) that will shut down or short circuit her subconscious attempts to shut you out of her life.

After all, on one hand, a woman wants love and affection and all that comes with it ...

... but on the other hand she also wants a trouble-free life. She has enough drama already, and she wants to avoid any possible heartache. So she creates a lot of fancy protection mechanisms to keep you from getting by without impressing her in the right way.

Just like a rock concert where you can't get past the big dudes guarding the band from groupies.

All you need is a backstage pass. That backstage pass is a concise method to approach women in any situation. To show, through your verbal power, that you are -

Confident

Secure

Interesting

Fun

For a long time, I had a problem talking with women. They just seemed like an alien life form to me. They liked makeup and sleepovers and pop songs about "girl power."

I felt like I had nothing in common with them.

But I finally figured out the amazing core elements of good conversation, and they work like a charm on just about everyone you'll meet. These elements can be learned and practiced with just about anyone, anywhere.

Here's one of them: Start with a contextual "opener."

What is a contextual opener? Well, it's one that obeys the rule of "Where the hell are you?"

In other words, if you want to walk up to that girl at the grocery store and say hello, don't ask her if she saw the fight out front. Don't tell her you want to read her palm. Those are club openers that would sound stupid in the Safeway meat section.

Instead, make sure the opener fits the situation. Not only will it work better, but you'll be much more believable with the words. It's a lot easier to talk about the real world around you than try to make up something dumb.

"Hey, have you tried that new high-quality roast beef they sell here? I'm planning a party and I want to know if it would be good to put on the platter."

There you go.

Does it make her toes tingle and her ni pples pop out? No. But it makes SENSE for where you ARE. And she'll be much more likely to respond.

Now, after she responds, chances are that she'll be a little overwhelmed by this unexpected interest and may be a bit bashful. (Guys often misinterpret a woman's shyness as disinterest.) This is where you have to reassure her and carry the conversation forward.

"Now if I'd known you weren't an expert on deli meats I would have asked someone else. But hey, you looked friendly." Shrug and say this with a slight smile. "Are you here doing some shopping after work?"

And just gently carry it forward...

How to ask a girl for a date?

How to Ask a Girl for a Date

It's the most intimidating question a guy can ask a woman, and one that I get asked about regularly. It feels like such a risky proposition, putting yourself out there for a woman's approval (or rejection.)

This has to be one of the questions I hear most frequently from guys.

Why?

It's the most intimidating question a guy can ask a woman, and one that I get asked about regularly. It feels like such a risky proposition, putting yourself out there for a woman's approval (or rejection.)

The answer to the riddle is this: STOP asking women out!

First of all, you're starting a program in a woman's head that says: "He's romantically interested in me. That means dates, and awkward kisses, and possibly sex, and then a breakup like the last one. I better not."

Second, by asking her out, you make a woman need to figure out if she's attracted to you the moment you ask the question. She is presented with an opportunity which requires her to figure out her interest level in YOU.

You see, a woman doesn't want to lead a man on, but she also rarely knows right away if there's romantic interest. So she'll say yes just to test you out. It's like her first drive of a new car. She doesn't want to be obligated to buy right off the bat. If you push her for an answer right away (which is how asking her out comes across to her) she'll say No, even if she isn't sure yet.

Most women are NOT attracted to you immediately unless it's by your looks alone. If you rely on pure sex appeal to win you the one you want, you'll be relying on "luck." There's a much better way.

Don't move so fast on her. Be patient. (Oh, and another fringe benefit of not asking a woman out is that you can't be rejected. Pretty cool, huh?)

Take a moment and think about which of these would be most interesting to a woman:

A) A meal and/or movie date that demonstrates no originality, and implies that she'll have to be considering you romantically, and that there will be pressure for her to be "on," and then after it's all done, she'll have to deal with your attempt to kiss her. Scary.

B) A chance to go out and have some fun, with no pressure.

Which one sounds better to you?

Now, if you're still leaning towards Option A, think about which one sounds better to HER?

Does Option B sound better now? You better believe it does.

Now, it may not seem to have your interests in mind right away, but that's not what winning a girl's heart is about. It's about forgetting what YOU want for long enough so that you can give her what SHE wants.

Let's put it this way - would you invest $10,000 of your hard-earned money in a stock you'd never even heard of before? No way! You'd want to see what the company is about, check out the fundamentals. And THEN you might be willing to invest a few hundred or so.

That's what it looks like to her - potentially BIG risk, and no guarantee of return.

There's a saying: "You can have anything you want in this world if you just help enough other people get what they want."

Also, Option B gives her a little MYSTERY about your intentions and your interest, and that is what a woman wants. Remember: hope + doubt = passion.

So now that you've figured out that you need to give her a lower investment option to start out with, how do you do it exactly?

Easy. If you've only just met her on the street, you should see if she's got a minute for coffee or tea at the local coffee shop. Take the opportunity to build a little rapport and show her that you're FUN. The rest will come later if you can demonstrate a laid-back, fun personality.

If she doesn't have the time, you then shift into a lower gear and get her phone number and/or email address. After you put such a nice request out there for coffee and she turned you down, she's more likely to agree to give you her contact information, and in most cases she will write it right down.

If she hesitates, which is very likely because you're still essentially a stranger, then you need to reassure her by teasing her. That's right, teasing her.

HER: "Sorry, I don't give out my number." YOU: "It's okay, I'm only going to leave you a hundred messages on your machine. C'mon, write it down." Make her feel a little silly that she doubts your integrity and character. Teasing makes her forget about her weird trust issues.

Hand her a pen and paper and don't look her in the eye; just wait. The next person who speaks, loses.

Usually, she'll write it down. You have to be willing to wait out that long, uncomfortable silence while she figures out if you're a confident guy or a wimp. If you start talking and trying to reassure her of all the reasons she should feel okay about giving you her information, you've already lost.

Just act as if she could do nothing else, and she will do exactly what you want.

Once you have her contact information, you only need to get hold of her and invite her to complete the offer you originally made - tea or coffee at a certain local shop. It's a low-investment, and it's not too pushy or overtly "romantic" that she has to worry about where things have to go.

How to win over any woman.

How to Win Over Any Woman - The Essence of Alpha Attitude
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Now, I'm going to reveal the single most powerful thing you can demonstrate with your personality to get any woman interested in you. It's so important that I put aside what I was working on today to get this out to you.
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Now, I'm going to reveal the single most powerful thing you can demonstrate with your personality to get any woman interested in you. It's so important that I put aside what I was working on today to get this out to you.

Have you ever noticed how we love to rate things?

We just love to give something a grade or a rating.

"She's a 10!"
"Two thumbs up!"
"I gave her an 'A' for effort..."
"He'll never make it to first base..."

Have you ever been to the web site where you get to rate people? They flash you a picture of either women or men, and you get to click what you think they are on a scale from 1 to 10. It's actually addicting when you sit there for a while, because you start to get invested in the process of grading people based on their looks.

The shame of it is that there's one important thing that's left completely out of this process.

There's nothing to indicate if this person is even likable or not. What if she's a bitch? What if she's a selfish little me-monkey?

You can't tell from the picture. (Well, most of the time.)

As a result, I won't ever rate a woman as a "10."

You can't make that high a grade with me without having a good personality and character. Nobody gets a rating higher than 9 without having the complete package.

Now, I realize that I'm a little different. Most guys will easily give up the highest rating for a woman based on looks alone. In fact, they'll even fall in lust over a woman and start selling their blood plasma based on her appearance.

In my book, that's the worst kind of mistake to make.

Why? Because there's no QUALIFICATION going on.

Remember that, because we're going to come back to it again.

Back to the whole "rating people" thing.

They've done studies where they compared the features of men and women, and had people judge whether they were attractive or not, just like on that web site I was talking about. When men graded the women, they found a standard of what was considered "attractive." They could even pinpoint it to a ratio of proportions on a woman's face.

Distances were standard between the eyes, from the eyes to the mouth, from the eyes to the nose, etc.

What they found was that what guys found "hot" was actually pretty predictable.

When the women rated the men on their appearance, they found that they were more scattered. Women had different criteria. Some things were standard, sure. A strong jaw-line was important - for most. But really there wasn't a lot that they agreed on. Tastes were all over the map. Some liked big noses, some liked small ears, some liked facial hair, some didn't.

If you've ever been around women rating guys, they are just like this. Very few will agree on what they find "attractive."

Why is this?

It's because women know they need to know the guy before they can make that call. Women take time to decide whether or not they're attracted to you because they know that your CONFIDENCE and ATTITUDE really stack the deck.

Now back to qualification...

You may have even heard of this term before.

What does it mean?

I came up with a simple definition that works: Qualification is when you decide to be CHOOSY.

Really that's all there is to it.

It's the attitude that says:

You're not going to settle for just anyone
You're not desperate
You're not "sold" on her yet
You're might even be a little suspicious

When you make a snap decision that a woman is worth chasing and pursuing without any kind of qualification, you immediately become less attractive in her eyes. Your attitude changes in a hundred different ways that you don't notice. You do "little things" that clue her in to the fact that you're NOT very choosy.

And most guys don't even realize they're doing this.

After a few hours in front of a computer screen rating women, you start to forget that they are not just pretty faces, but they have personalities.

And a lot of them have personalities that could make you potentially VERY miserable.

You've got to TALK to these women.

You've got to tolerate being around them for longer than a few hours at a time.

I once dated this Russian girl that was unbelievably hot. I'm talking 9+ on most guy's scales. She was FINE.

I actually met her when I interviewed her for a position at an Investment Bank where I was working at the time.

She was also really cocky and sure of herself, and her attitude just rolled me over.

I couldn't hire her for the job, but I called her and asked her out. We had a decent first date, with a little face-sucking at the Palace of Fine Arts here in San Francisco. (For those of you who have seen the movie "The Rock," it's the place where Sean Connery meets his daughter to talk to her.) Nice. Romantic.

The next time we went out, I had my goal in mind. But what I was beginning to realize was that I was dreading being around her.

She was constantly talking. Yap yap yap. ME this, and ME that.

"Look what I've done. I'm so proud of myself..."

It was starting to get sickening. But she was so HOT! AND so damn annoying...

I distinctly remember going back to her place on the third date and hanging out there while she read me a truckload of her bad poetry. I was all "That's great!" and "How beautiful!"

What I forgot was that I should have had standards. I didn't QUALIFY her.

And in the end, she ended up pushing me out the door and telling me that she wasn't going to sleep with me, after making me tell her how much I thought of her and how great an a$$ she had. Talk about humiliating.

Ever since that experience, I remembered my lesson, and I kept it on the front of my mind so that I learned from it. (You might notice that I have no problem telling you about my mistakes because I want you to realize that I've made a lot of the same ones you have.)

The "Big Lesson" was this: I got her interested in me and demonstrated my Alpha Power when I had first INTERVIEWED her.

THAT was what got her interest spiked! I was Qualifying her that whole time, demanding that she tell ME why I should be interested in her.

If I'd just kept qualifying her a little more, called her on her self-centered behavior, told her that her poetry needed a few less five-syllable words ... and basically kept qualifying her the way I had been from when I was interviewing her, I would have been able to either satisfy my "carnal curiosity" ... or dumped HER instead before she drove me nuts.

And since my "Big Lesson", I've done just that. I reject women all the time when I sense that they're going to be pills to deal with.

Let me tell you, it feels GREAT! And my posture of qualification drives them crazy with desire.

Now YOU need to be the one to decide whether a woman is worth your time and energy.

Don't give up the reigns of control so quickly just because she's got a pretty face.

Or pretty anything else...

Repeat after me: "Beauty isn't enough!"

Until you have a chance to learn more about her, you can only say TSTR! "TOO SOON TO RATE!"

I don't give up a 10 for ANY woman until I've gotten to know her, and find out if she's a QUALITY woman.

Now, for you to get to the point where you feel you can turn down women takes a little work. I think I have something that will make it much easier for you to build this Alpha Attitude.

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Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as Alpha Immersion" and "Alpha Man Communication & Persuasion".

Traditional perception on Dating, it is out date! You will never get laid!

Where did this bad information come from?
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I was thinking the other day about men's perceptions about women, and how we "figured out" what it is they're looking for. I wondered how men could have been so misled regarding this subject, and just where did it come from?
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I was thinking the other day about men's perceptions about women, and how we "figured out" what it is they're looking for. I wondered how men could have been so misled regarding this subject, and just where did it come from?

Well, think about it. There are only a few places you could have gotten this information:

LISTENING TO GUYS

Well, as guys, we like advice. We LOVE to give it, even when we don't know what the HELL we're talking about. Really.

I remember being a kid and trying to shoot the crap with my friends about women. All guys have an inherent need to be a know-it-all, and that gets in our way of actually learning. Every guy has a story and seems to "know it" when it comes to women, don't they?

I was in a car with a friend at Lake Tahoe a couple weeks back, and when he found out what I do for men with the ebooks and audio information he was fascinated. It wasn't as if he was jumping up and down (guys don't react that way - we're very coy about letting another guy know we're excited about something.) But he was interested, because he brought the topic up several times over the next several days.

What made him different was that he asked questions and listened to my advice. He's probably going to go on to ROCK a lot of women's little worlds.

Guys and gals are FASCINATED by knowledge of the $e*xual game. It's treated as if it is some kind of magic by those who understand it.

I have noticed that guys will tend to look to other guys for advice, or listen in on other conversations, and then use that information to shore up our own understanding. We assume that all the other guys were born with this knowledge.

But the truth is that most guys' knowledge of women is very faulty, because it's not based on reality. It's based on hit-or-miss hand-me-down wisdom that is not usually very reliable.

ONLY listen to people who are DOING what you want to do.

LISTENING TO WOMEN

I think I've coached you guys enough on this one, but it's probably one of the tops in terms of where guys go after listening to other guys for their information. While you can get some good information on the basics from women (what clothes they like, etc.), for the most part, they DON'T know what REALLY moves them. (Or won't admit it.)

Listen to what a woman says, but train your ear to pick out the BS when you hear it. Because she's most likely only going to give you her "Cinderella" answer. (Prince Charming illusion.)

WATCHING OTHER GUYS

One of the two best ways you can learn, but only if you watch guys who are SUCCESSFUL with women. Most guys watch other turkeys just so they can feel better about not being as bad as they are.

A good friend once said, "If you want to learn something, go to the guy DOING it for lessons. If you want to get rich, go find a guy with a big pile of money. Not the broke stockbroker showing you his 'hot picks.'"

Absolutely, brother. Right on.

Go get yourself a TOP-NOTCH wingman that's good at this stuff, get him to show you what he does, and watch your ability quadruple in just a few nights. (I mean it.)

That is, if you can put aside your ego and apprentice yourself.

WATCHING WOMEN

The best way you can possibly learn is to WATCH WOMEN when they're being brought around to attraction for a man. You'll know it when you see them reacting positively to what a guy does to them.

RESULTS speak here. If you watch a woman and she is NOT moved to interest for a guy, DON'T do what he did. (Or learn how to do it the CORRECT way.)

If you see a guy give flowers and buy dinner for a woman and not get SQUAT for his trouble, then you might want to reconsider your strategy. I did.

If you really watch women and REALLY watch their reactions, and learn how to interpret what's going on in her head, too, you'll begin to understand the REAL deal when it comes to women, seduction, and dating.

Remember this: The only woman that will stay with you over the long run is one that CANNOT stand the thought of being without you just enough to stick around. OR ... she just doesn't have any better choices. She has to want you more than she wants to be on the market again.

Learn how to observe and PAY ATTENTION. Develop your fine sense of interpretation, and learn to watch for the right signals.

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Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as "Secrets of the Alpha Male", "Approach Women - NOW!", "Alpha Immersion" and "Alpha Man Communication & Persuasion".

12 rules to improve your odds of getting beautiful women and better love life.

1) Girls Will Not Make You Happy
Happiness is inside YOU, not in other people... or stuff that you need to buy. That is exactly society wants you to think; to look outside yourself to others or things you need to buy for your happiness. But this can only bring temporary happiness. Most girls out there are unhappy with their lives and they search for a man to make them happy. Actually they search for a happy man, to jump into his life, and enjoy his life. That is why you must focus on yourself first, before you bring someone else in your life.

2) If You Don’t Change You Will Stay Where You Are
This is simple. Same actions get same results. If you are not happy with what you are getting from life, it’s time to change. Try anything, but don’t stay where you are because it will lead you exactly to where you are now. Moving in a new direction will lead to new results.

3) What Would You Do If There Was No Fear?
Can you imagine how your life would be if there were absolutely no fear in it? Ask yourself, what would you do, how would you behave? Then start doing those things, little by little, to de-condition yourself from fear and reprogram yourself to do the things you really want to do. When you beat your fear, you will be FREE.

4) The Sooner You Forget Your Old Girlfriend, The Sooner You Will Find a New One
Most guys, after they break up with a girl, they think about her for months. It’s normal after long term relationships to have emotions for that girl, but the sooner you forget about her, the sooner you will find a new girl. Be aware that an end is a new beginning. It’s smart to always have a backup girl in your life, so when you break up with one girl, you can jump to the other one. That is the reason why you should always stay social and go out, no matter how hot and pefect your girl is. There is always a chance you will break up.

5) Don ’t Wait For Girls To Come To You
You should always be pro-active. It’s a very bad idea to stay home and think, “Its just going to happen.” That’s how girls think, because they generally play a more passive role in society. It’s written in your genes that we are the stronger sex, the hunters, the ones that make thing happen. That’s how it’s been for million of years. Don’t betray your genes and evolution.

6) If You Think You Can Get The Girl, You Can
It’s very important to stay focused on positivity and be sure that for every action you do, sooner or later you will be rewarded. Avoid negative thoughts, girls can feel it, and as soon they smell you are a “bad thinker” they will avoid you.

7) Go For Your Dreams
Never abandon your dreams. They will keep you motivated. There is nothing on this planet that can stop you from making your dreams come true, except you. There is nothing more important than your dreams. Life is too short to not make yourself happy.

8) Start Chasing Girls And ENJOY It
Soon you will realize that the chase is so much fun it is often times better than the actual sex is. In the long run, girls like sex more than guys do. We get bored with one girl pretty quickly and our genes motivate us to a find a new girl, to spread our semen. While girls are programmed to find that 'special one' and raise kids with him. So enjoy the chase, enjoy going out, and have fun doing it. It’s a natural instinct for us.

9) Life Is Constant Change
Those who cannot adapt themselves to new environments will die. To be really successful in life and with women, you must use everything life gives you. All your good and bad qualities. You must use all disadvantages to your advantage. Loud music, dark clubs, your hobbies... everything! It’s a skill to learn to use everything to your advantage. It’s different way of thinking than you are p robably used to but always ask yourself, "What can I do with this?" and, "How can I use this in my favour?"

10) The More You Worry About Getting Girls, The Less Success You Will Have
Neediness is a big turn off for everybody. When you want something too much, it lowers your value as a person. It means something is more important then you are. So the key is: know what you want on the inside, but be cool, like you don’t care too much on the outside or that it will come easily to you. The less you appear to care and the easier things seem for you, the better results you will get.

11) Every Girl Is A Potential Girlfriend, Whether You Realize It Or Not
Everything is an opportunity. The girl walking down the street, two girls in a coffeeshop talking, the girl next door . If you take what life gives you and make the absolute most of it, you will find a lot of opportunities that you never thought were possible. A new girl will come to you as a gift if you enjoy it as a challenge, make the move and beat your fear.

12) Fear of Change Will Prevent You From Changing
People are afraid of change. Most of them are zombies, and they don’t want to change because of a fear of the unknown. And of course if you don’t change you will get what you’ve always got. You must SEE the advantage of changing yourself and take ACTION immediately, even if it is uncomfortable.

Check out the Badboy Lifestyle Seduction Guide, where Badboy unleashes his killer tactics for seducing any woman, anywhere!

Dating: When Should I kiss her?

Being relaxed is one of the most important elements in pickup…and in life. When you are relaxed, you are also confident and spontaneous -- and being spontaneous drives girls crazy. Very few people on this planet are spontaneous. The majority of people behave according to routines and societal clichés.

Let’s take for example giving flowers. Girls used to like flowers, as it used to have deeper connection with love, caring for someone, fertility, etc... Eventually, society mainstreamed flowers and today flowers are a typical thing that every guy gives to a girl. It has become a routine. It’s not spontaneous and genuine. It doesn’t say, “You are unique and special and I care about you.” I meet so many girls today who want to puke when guys give them flowers. It’s so predictable. And being predictable is a KILLER of Attraction. If you are going to give her something, be spontaneous, original and creative.

When your body is relaxed, your mind will follow. And when your mind is relaxed, there are no limitations. You don't overthink -- you just do. When your logical brain is working too much, you don't listen to the things that come from your unconscious. This is extremely important to learn to do. If you listen your unconscious mind and your instincts, /you will get laid like crazy/. That is what most “Naturals” do. They don't think, they act from their unconscious.

How many times you asked yourself while talking with a girl, “Should I kiss her?” or, “How long should I wait before I kiss her?” Here’s some advice. If she’s giving you attraction signals and your body is telling you it’s time, GO FOR IT. Every time the window of opportunity appears, take it. If it closes you need to create new opportunity... which may never come again.

Let me explain what's happening in your body at that moment. The girl starts thinking about sex or kissing or just gives you strong attraction signals and you may not even be aware of it logically (girls can hide it beneath surface very well) but your body receives signals from her body (emotions are contagious) and the signal that she is attracted moves from your body to your brain. At this point you should trust your emotions and instincts, but instead your overused logical brain starts to rationalize and doubt the signal. Then you start asking yourself, “Should I kiss her?” etc...

This, “Should I kiss her?” didn't come from nowhere. It was triggered by something. It was triggered by her attraction to you and your body picks that up. That's one of biggest differences between guys who get laid and guys who don't get laid. One guy thinks and rationalizes while another guy ACTS and does something about it.

To make it simple: When you start thinking about whether you should kiss her or not, that means YOU SHOULD do it at exactly that moment. This all starts with making yourself very relaxed in every situation so that you are open to receive these subtle signals and respond genuinely from your unconscious instincts instead of your logical mind.

Check out the Badboy Lifestyle Seduction Guide, where Badboy unleashes his killer tactics for seducing any woman, anywhere!

Seduction and Game: Setting up your pad

Besides going out and approaching women, a major thing that will affect your success is how your home looks. A girl is going to get a full picture of you when she sees your home. Don't let this last step in the game get in the way of your success.

The first thing she will see is your living room, which should be clean, just like your coffee table. On the coffee table, make sure there’s something interesting. When a person sits on the couch, they usually pick up something from the coffee table to read. I have an excellent erotic book; Super-Sex by Tracey Cox. The book is full of black and white erotic photos. It’s a perfect book for the coffee table. What I usually do when I bring a girl home is have her sit on couch and tell her: “I am going to take a shower, feel at home here… Just don’t touch that book on the table. And if you open it, don’t look at page 60. Page 60 is about oral sex.” When I come back, half my job is done.

Also, in the living room make sure you have some good music to set the mood and bring her into a good state. Some cool DVD’s and some drinks would be good too. I always have candles and condoms somewhere around the couch. I love to create a special atmosphere. You don’t need to do it all the time, but from time to time, candles, soft music and a glass of wine can make something really special happen.

The kitchen and bathroom are also places women will check out when they come to your place to get a better idea of who you are. They must be clean. In the bathroom, always have clean towels, an additional toothbrush, liquid for lenses and make-up remover. Buy nice toilet paper, because remember, she HAS to use toilet paper every time she uses the bathroom. We don't.

In the kitchen, make sure everything is clean and that inside the fridge you don’t have old food. In the fridge, you should always have a bottle of good white wine or champagne, whipped cream, and some sex food, like chocolate, or strawberries.

Your bedroom should be the most attractive place in your home. The bedroom is the shrine where she's going to get naked with you. Show her that it's a special place by TREATING it like one. Keep the atmosphere in your bedroom intimate. Use low level lights in the room; too much light is going to kill intimacy and girls don’t like it. It makes them self conscious. Also, since you plan to be naked, the temperature must be right for it. You should have: massage oil, condoms, maybe some sex toys to spice things up a little. With sex toys, be careful, you don’t want to scare her. Let it come with a time.

When a girl enters your place, try to minimize all possibilities that can destroy your plan. If you plan for her to spend the night, then you must have all things that she needs. For example, she would love to stay at your place but she doesn’t have make-up remover with her. Plan ahead. If you let this kind of thing mess your plan up, then you are not playing solid game.

So, take care of your place, it will make your life much easier.

Check out the Badboy Lifestyle Seduction Guide, where Badboy unleashes his killer tactics for seducing any woman, anywhere!

Short term relationship: Some though and tips

When it comes to ongoing relationships, there are many options you can go for. Most guys who are good with girls go for seeing several girls, once or twice a week each. This leaves some free nights for finding other girls and for other hobbies. If you decide to do this, the strategy is simple. Once you sleep a girl several times, you can say you have a “relationship”. Whether you choose to inform her that you are seeing other girls is up to you. In my opinion, it’s easier to just tell her if she asks. If you are a solid player, she will be okay with it. Then, you see her once or twice a week and you keep her in your life by having great sex with her and making your time together interesting. You can maintain this for a long time if you don’t over or under commit to her. See her enough to satisfy her and keep the flame alive, but don’t see her so much that starts to assume she is your “one and only”. If you set the precedent of once or twice a week, you should be able to maintain it and avoid having her take over your life. Most girls will hover in this middle ground for a while as long as you keep her satisfied physically and emotionally. It’s a safe, efficient long term strategy.

But one of my good friends does things differently. He likes very intense, short term relationships with his women. What he does is as soon as he sleeps with a girl, she becomes center of his life…but only for couple of days. When he meets her, he dates her, makes love with her, then sweeps her off her feet and sees her every day after that... for a while. Basically he spends a very intense, commited 3-4 days with her and then he disappears from her life. It’s a fling. Girls come to understand this and can enjoy it as much as a man. It’s good because the relationship ends at its peak, so there are no negative emotions. The woman always remembers you as a big adventure she had. He communicates to them in very beginning that a long-term relationship is not possible, non-verbally… by his behavior. They know they are getting into a whirlwind romance with a seducer… and they love it.

If you want to do this, once you sleep with her, let her stay overnight, or see her the next day for dinner (sometimes they feel slutty for sleeping with you so you need to take her on a date to ease it.) Then ignite the passion again, make it very physical and take her home again and show her some *sexy time*. Do it for couple of days, then find a new girl and move on. Living this lifestyle is more like a having a series of short monogamous relationships... without all the hassles.

Check out the Badboy Lifestyle Seduction Guide, where Badboy unleashes his killer tactics for seducing any woman, anywhere!

How to manage long term relationship

For some reason, you can lose your game if you stay with one girl too long.I know lot of good players, guys who slept with 50-60 chicks a year, who had one relationship destroy them. It's something you cannot believe when you see it. Guys who were successful with woman, settle down for a while, and then can't seduce any girls at all when they are single again. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a long-term relationship with a girl you love. I like to stay monogamous sometimes. But this is an issue that many of us have noticed. Whenever I have broken up with a girl (from a relationship longer then a year), I feel like I am starting from scratch. NO calibration skills. Don’t know what to say. When to say it. What to think…Usually it takes a few months to get back on track. NO ONE is immune from this. It happened to me twice in my life and it will likely happen to you at some point. I just want to make sure you are aware of this issue so you know what to do when it happens. Let’s analyze what happens:You get into a relationship, love the girl, everything is perfect… Usually in the first few months, everything is smooth and interesting, you are exciting and unpredictable -- she falls in love. Then, over time, you become more and more predictable (the relationship becomes a routine) and you are start becoming nicer and nicer towards her as you get comfortable. You are receiving a LOT of exposure to female hormones and her “cutesy” emotions. These emotions will change you. They will make you nice. It’s biological. That’s how badboys and jerks get turned into nice guys.

Then you break up… You start gaming other girls, but you are not calibrated, you are too nice, too placating, too respectful; all those things that keep you from getting laid.

How to prevent this? First, make sure that even if you are in relationship, you still game other girls. You don’t have to fuck them, but make sure that you can still get attraction from other girls and that you ALWAYS have the option to fuck someone else. Knowing that you can fuck another girl at any time will give you power in the relationship you are in. You will never feel desperate or put yourself in a low power position because you are afraid of being lonely. Second, make sure you don not become a fucking woman. Keep doing things that feed your masculine side. Don’t become a weak pussywhipped mess who comes home and cooks and makes baby talk with his girlfriend every night. You can do that some of the time, but make sure that you and your girlfriend still know that you are always a MAN. A dominant man, who gets what he wants. Play sports, gamble, party with your friends, make money, drive a motorcycle, workout… Don’t just do just “couple” things and what she wants.

A great thing about relationships is that other girls see you as taken (forbidden fruit) and they want to be with you. You’ve probably noticed how they give you Indicators of Interest when you are with your girlfriend… That’s because girls want what other girls have instinctively. This can open a lot of easy opportunities.

I talk a lot more on how to properly keep girls around, break up with them and manage multiple relationships at the same time in the Badboy Lifestyle ebook that has recently been released. I’d recommend that you check it out.